Things That Need Said... (if you know you're important to me, please read this post. it might be written to you..)

I'm bad with words, you all know that. And I'm also deathly shy and afraid of confrontation, you all know that too. So I'm going to be vague.

Dear Somebody,
I'm sorry. I should have been a better friend than that. I lied to you, but I lied so that you wouldn't know how much it was hurting me. Because honestly, it hurts worse than anything I've ever felt before. And I need to shut up about myself because it's not about me. And I'm sorry. Truly and honestly.
I'm good at pretending. I'll pretend it's all okay. Because, eventually, it will be. Just right now, it'll take some forced smiles, alright? Work with me here, we'll make it through. Promise.



Since I really want to be sure the recipient reads that, I won't post another post to go above it. I'll just switch topics here really slyly and you won't even notice.

In Other News
(didn't notice, did you?)

Yesterday I watched "Lost In Austen". For those who don't know what that is, it's a 5-part miniseries that aired in England, but I found it on DVD and bought it a while back. The story follows Amanda Pryce, who loves 'Pride & Prejudice' but lives in our world. She finds a door in her basement and through it, she and Elizabeth Bennett switch lives. It pretty much completely screws up Pride & Prejudice's story, but I absolutely love that movie. I'm sure they swear alot in British, but to us Americans it just sounds like a bunch of gibberish and funny words. haha
There is this one scene, and it's probably one of my favorite movie scenes ever, where Amanda and Mr. Darcy get into a fight. She ends it with "You misjudge everyone. And you misjudge me." She turns and walks away, and with every step she whispers to herself "I love you. I love you. I want to die. But I love you." And it always makes my mom cry. haha

So today Mom took off of work and I'm taking off of school and we're going to watch that movie (again - she wasn't with me yesterday when I watched it) and then the real Pride & Prejudice and then Anastasia. Gosh, it's been...years since I saw Anastasia. I love that movie. And the music is amazing. I remember when I found out Meg Ryan voices Anastasia, I was so shocked I'd never noticed before (she's one of my favorite actresses) and they animated her to look just like Meg I realized. :P So now I love that movie even more.

So yes, it's movie day today. One of those "stay in your pajamas and drink hot chocolate" days. I love my mom.

Oh, and listen to this song. Some of you may have heard Kat and I are making a music video (yellow brick roads and ruby slippers and leiderhosen and speedos and all that) It's to this song. So listen, let me know if you have any ideas to help with it, or just listen and love the song because it's amazing.

Peace love and all that
Jazz