K-I-S-S...somethin somethin G! (a post for Bethany!)

I think that's one of my favorite lines from Cars, which is one of my favorite movies ever! I like the soundtrack alot too.

Anyway.

So, Bethany asked me to write about her wedding. So I decided I shall. She and Matthew Theissen of Relient K are going to get married. She told me so. Several times now. So she invited me to their wedding. :D

This is how it's going to work. See, she and Matt are going to have a big wedding, and I'm going to be the Bridesman. It's, like, the Maid of Honor, but with superpowers. 8D And she says I get to wear a dress. And it will be purple. Which is my favorite color! 8D

And then, like, after they're married and stuff, see, Adam Young is going to be the Best Man, and like, he'll see me and it'll, like, be love at first sight is what Bethie says. And he and I can quote eachother lines from Finding Nemo and have a happy ever after. <3

Theoretically.

Of course, this is only her first marriage. Her second marriage is to me and Lady Gaga. It's our plan. ... I just totally thought about what Lady Gaga's wedding would actually be like irl. I wonder what kind of dress she'd wear....

Interesting...

Last Post Today, I Promise

My friend Sophie explained to me what a word cloud is this morning and I decided, what the heck, let's word cloud (it's now a verb) REC. So, this is the result. The bigger the word, the more frequently it's found.

Click Here For Picture

I think my favorite part is the "font-style:italic" haha

Anyway, there ya go. Kinda cool, huh?

Deas Vail

I can't stand the mechanical breath
And I'm scared I could slowly love you to death
I can never let go
On and on we are counting the formulas
We've become the modern equation
The numbers of hope
And I won't feed us lies here
They're not giving us much time

I'd give anything to make it better
Baby, this is something I can't change
This silence could go on forever
Am I walking with you in your dreams?

These metaphors for conditions and phobias
We'll pretend that we can explain
But we know we don't know
We can't be lead by fear, dear

I'd give anything to make it better
Baby, this is something I can't change
This silence could go on forever
Am I walking with you in your dreams tonight?

Hello, hello, can you hear me?
Can you show me that you understand?

I thought we had it all figured out
But we don't know the half of it
And somebody will come and save us all
And somebody will come and let us out
Let us out of our cages

- "Cages"

This Is Post 130

Now that you're aware of this fact, I'm just taking a moment to say, that Diary of a Wimpy Kid is not worth $5 to go see at a theater. In fact, it's not worth $1 to go see at a dollar theater. It is, in fact, stupid enough to walk out of.

I learned this the other day as Mom and I did just that. Walked right out of it 45 minutes into it.

I'd also like to take another moment to make you aware that you can leave comments no matter who you are. I found out last night that at least 3 people read this that I don't know. So, feel free to click the "0 comments" thing and leave one if you have something to say. You don't even have to sign in, and can leave it anonymously. Promise I'll reply. (:

Now you can return to your daily lives.
Or eagerly await post 131.
Just kidding.
Kinda. :P

So I Guess This Post Is About People o_0

I got told yesterday that it's been forever since I blogged about my friends and updated. And for a moment I was like "stalkerrr" but then I noticed I actually hadn't, but I have alot of friends introduced to this blog, so I never find time to update about all of them. :P So I guess I will now. It'll go fast. Ready?

Katie-Ana's having her baby Monday if not sooner, Elise has a dance recital tonight and she's scared to death about it, Kari's having her prom dress altered tonight for prom tomorrow, Taylor's studying for his SATs which he accidentally misspells STDs, and Ben's having texting troubles and getting a new phone eventually. Bethany's out of school and tanning today, Anna's sneaking on ACC at the library, Karl has a new fedora which just adds to his adorableness, Matt has lung cancer, Allie has a recital too but it's not as soon as Elise's, and Kyle got promoted and his campaign is going well. Zach hates my guts, Becca disappeared, Daphne watches Ace of Cakes, and Chris got a black eye and a pirate scar trying to break up a fight at work.

Did I get everybody?

Yes, I think so. :P

Bitter, but oh so sweet

I went shopping and spent like...$100 yesterday.
That's hyperbole, I spent $22.74. I like shopping though, and the cashier guy was super cute so I just HAD to buy something. haha Even though the lady who actually checked me out was like, overweight and 60. I have bad timing.

Then I got home though. For those who aren't yet aware, my dad's living with us for the next 4 weeks. It's because every 4 years, to get his papers, he has to actually spend a certain amount of time with my mom and me since their 'separation' is completely below the legal level and they're actually quite married according to the government records.

What does this mean for me?

Means the next 4 weeks will be rather endless and filled with stupid fights and lots of loud music in my headphones. And hopefully unlike last time, he'll have the decency to not go through all my stuff. But last night I did get kicked out of my room.

See, I share a room with my mom. Before you think it's awkward and weird, it's really not. She and I are pretty close, so I don't really mind sharing a closet and a dresser with her and stuff. But the thing of it is, I used to sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag, but then we found this twin futon daybed thing at a garage sale and dragged that up all the flights of stairs on the fire escape and got it in there through the window. And now my dad kicked me out of my room and is sleeping on my bed. Hope he doesn't find the stuff under the mattress. Remind me to get it out later today.

Anyway so I'm officially sleeping on the couch in the living room. It's quite poofy and bright red. And this morning I slept til 10. Oops. It felt really good, sleeping 5 hours past time, but my dad was pretty pissed that mom wouldn't let him turn on the tv. haha

She said tonight we can make a tent with sheets and the ceiling fan (we never use it) and have a camp out. I'm way too excited for this.

Currently listening to: "It's Not That Easy" by Erin McCarley.
Seriously, idk wtf is up with all the lezzy videos to this song. It's on youtube twice, both times with them. So, just listen to the song, cause the video is weird.

DEAR ILOVESIRJOSH

I don't know your name.
This is awkward.
I don't care.

You read this blog, correct?
If so, leave a comment confirming that.
Because I'm dropping a few social networking sites, including myspace formspring and flutterfly. I don't need the drama, and they pretty much cause it.

But here's the thing, I really like you. I think you're funny and cool and nice and stuff, so if I drop fs, there's no way to talk to you anymore. So...um...can we still be friends over some other website? haha

Let me know.

Alexx.

(P.S. I'm sorry, REC, I think this is one of the first blog posts not addressed to you, but you're an online blog site, so deal with it. :P)

Sorry for the emo post yesterday. I'm a little frustrated with some parts of my life at the moment. :P But I'm over it now so it's okay.

Last night my new friend Anna got told never to talk to me again. It made me really sad. But I guess it's for the better that she do as told. Kinda frustrating though because she's going through tons of stuff, crying her eyes out, having an altogether bad day and asking me for advice, and her cousin pulls this jerk move along the lines of "stop talking to your online friends or I'll tell your parents and they'll take away your phone". What wonderful timing. :\ But oh well, hopefully Anna's computer will get fixed soon and we can talk on Facebook again.

In other news, Katie-Ana still hasn't had her baby.

And I found this completely awesome site. It's called Dear Meat. I love it. It's anonymous letters written by people to anyone or anything for any reason. I think it's creative and I really like reading what people say. I'm contemplating writing a letter in, but I don't know if I will..

Anyway this is a happier post to replace yesterday's.
Hi to Chris cause he's whining about how I never namedrop him here. He must not read this much. :P

Lies and Liars

I'm aware I haven't blogged in forever, and for that I apologize. There's just not been much to say.

And I'm still not going to say much. I just...life sometimes can be so perfect, y'know? It's exactly what you want and you expect that somehow it's going to still be that way forever. And then in a second, one word and it all shatters again. All the dreams, the wishes..
You realize that what you expected all along is finally coming true. That all along, you've built your hopes on pretty lies and all along, you counted on all the liars. And all along, you've woven beautiful dreams on expectations of what will never be.
It's not just once that I've had this happen. It's lots of times now. And I used to let myself be hurt by it. I used to struggle for breath and try to pick up the pieces of the shattered life. But not anymore. Now I just want to tear apart the fabricated dreams and break all the hopes beyond repair. I just want to make sure there's nothing left to pick back up; no reason to try this again.

And tonight I'll stay up, and watch the stars, and laugh at myself for ever being stupid enough to believe that wishes on them ever came true.

With Respect To Emily Dickinson

I never typed a blog,
I never tumbled too,
Yet know I HTM and L
And have a thought or two.

Good morning.
Alexx will most likely yell at me when he finds out I've been on his blog. And he'll probably delete this. So if you're reading this, lucky you.
I'm his best friend Katie-Ana and I officially don't know what to say. So hello.
And HI, BENJAMIN! I LOVE YOU IN A PLATONIC WAY EVEN IF YOU ARE AWKWARD. <3

So...this is Alexx's blog...but I don't know what to say...so I shall now post a survey about him. So you can all be happy and know everything about him that he's probably never said. Congratulations.


Basic Info About Your Best Friend!
Your name: Katie-Ana
Best friend's Name? Alexxandre Jasper Reed
Your age? 16
Best friends Age? 15
How long have you known each other? 8 years
Is this the only best friend you have I have lots of friends, but he and I are more like siblings

History!
When did you meet? March 22nd
How old were you both? I was 8 and he was 7
Where did you meet? first met at the park, then he followed me home. The stalker
How did you meet? He followed me home for weeks and sat outside my window. Finally I let him in one night because it was cold outside
Did you get along instantly? pretty much
Why do you feel you became best friends? because we're so much alike and so much different that it's perfect

True/False
You were instantly friends: true
Your best friend knows every single one of your secrets: true
You think you know all their secrets: true
You believe that this person is the most loyal friend you have: somewhat. I mean, of course he's loyal, but I think some of my other friends are as well.
You believe this friendship will last until the end of time: of course it will
This person is the most supportive person you know: probably
This person is the one you call when you have a problem: definitely
You have not slept with person:.... this is so debatable. let's make this hotter. yes we have.
This person is/was/will be your best man/maid of honor: sadly..no. I regret that.
There is nothing you do not know about this person: oh I'm sure there are some things. He's complex.

Well, let's test your knowledge! (these are all questions about your best friend)
Eye Color: green
Hair color: red
Hair style: long and straight usually
Height: 5'3 or so. last time we measured. I'm still taller.
Weight: 118 more or less
Shoe size: size 7
Number of piercings: I'm going to guess six?
Number of tattoos: still working on convincing him of that.
Favorite Color: I honestly don't know. Purple?
Favorite TV show: It darn well better be Be Good, Johnny Weir
Favorite Movie: 27 Dresses and/or Ratatouille
Favorite pair of shoes: I think he only has two..
Favorite Clothing store: Pac-Sun
Favorite food: crepes
Favorite animal: he doesn't like animals much
Favorite restaurant: Red Robin
Favorite Band: Augustana..?
Favorite Song: the most-played song on his ipod is 'Courage' by Superchick. We'll go with that. I think it changes alot.
Favorite Genre of music: uh...techno?
Favorite perfume/cologne: he mixes his own. It's called "Candy Shoppe" He taught me how to make it once but I forgot. It smells really good though
Favorite non-alcoholic drink: tea. he's obsessed with it
Favorite city: he loves Chicago. He and I were going to live there together at one point. hah
Who does he/she live with: his mom
What kind of car does your best friend drive: he can't drive until he's 18
Parent's Name(s): Chloe and ... oh gosh, um ... just a guess, Jasper?
Siblings names: Rosalynne
Pet's names: I have no idea he calls the cat something different daily
Bedroom colors: orange
First boyfriend/girlfriend: Jordan
First school attended: he was homeschooled like me

Religion!
What is your best friend's religion? Christian
Do you practice it also? yes
Do you agree with it? yes
Do you argue about it? no

Relationships!!!
Has this person met your significant other? yes
Do they get along or would they get along? they do not
Do they consider each other friends? no
Have you met your best friend's significant other? ooh, well I've met this kid named Matt who pretty much THINKS he's Alexx's boyfriend, but Alexx technically is single and madly in love with someone else who I also happen to know. It's a soap opera. I keep popcorn by my computer screen
How many relationships has your best friend been through since you have known him/her? 3
Are you their "crying shoulder" when something goes wrong? yes.

Totally Random stuff no one asks about your friend!
Weirdest gift you have received from your friend? a bra. it was awkward.
Weirdest gift you bought for your friend? a frog skin
When was your first sleepover? when we first met
What did you do? talked alot
Have you been intoxicated or otherwise under the influence together? we sniffed crayons until we got a little high once
Does your friend smoke? If so, what? no, he's against drugs of any sort
Does your friend drink often? If so, what? he did like, once or twice
Has your best friend seen you naked? yes. but that is an awkward memory
Have you ever been to the doctor together? Why? haha yes. He took me to my first girl doctor appointment. It was much less scary.
Do you think you could live together? we did for a year and intended to at one point
Why/Why not? we're compatible
What thing does your best friend most often say? "I know"
What thing does your best friend do that irritates you most? hm..he imitates a girl voice perfectly and it bothers me, and he does it with the single intention of doing just that.
What are five things about your best friend that nobody knows? Oh wow. hm. When he's embarrassed he blushes and touches his face distractedly, usually his nose or lips. When he's sleepy he plays with the ends of his hair, and he'll deny that he's tired. He's fiercely against hitting women, and at age 10 was beat up by a girl consequently. He writes brilliant R rated fiction, though he only does it on dares and if you beg and he'll deny it vehemently. And...his voice is surprisingly low and doesn't match him, but it never really 'changed' it's been that way as long as I've known him.


Well, now this will be deleted, but that's alright, because blogging was fun!

Goodnight!

- Katie-Ana

Time Goes Faster When You're Not Bored

It's true. Unfortunately, I have been very bored this past week. But now tomorrow I get to go see Katie-Ana and so that will be much less boring! She still hasn't had her baby yet, so she's nervous and I'm impatient so this should be a fun visit. :P

This is a short post, I shall post something longer later maybe or something, just wanted to update something happy for a change.

Oh, and I changed my formspring.
http://www.formspring.me/xpaperdreamsx
ask me things THERE from now on as I'm deleting the old one for various reasons.

Same with my tumblr, although I don't think you all know my tumblr so it's all fine. :P

Oh and Chris, just saying but you still owe me $.25. I told you Paris wasn't Johnny's boyfriend. xD

Irrelevant Title is Irrelevant

I'm leaving today. I'm going to Katie-Ana's for 16 days. Fun fun!
And I ate a cup (a literal measurement cup) of sugar mixed with a packet of kool-aid today. Sugar is bad for me. Not only does it usually make me sick, it makes me very hyper. My mind is in 7 places right now, one of them being St. Petersburg, Russia I'm pretty sure.

I daydreamed allllllll day today. And I'm writing a side-story because my story is failing so bad. My book story. Speaking of which, I need to ask Ben for advice with that. Remind me next time I talk to him.

Speaking of stories, I read ghost stories today. They scare me incredibly bad. But for some reason, I read them alot. I read them from time to time. And then I can't sleep at night. Katie-Ana makes me read them with her and occasionally watch the "real" videos. I don't really care if they're not really real. Shit's still scary. What's really fun though, is at sleepovers, Kat makes up her own ghost stories and tells them. She makes the best ones. And she tells them in such a way that you want to cover your ears so you don't get nightmares, but you just have to know what happens next.
I miss our sleepovers. We had alot of fun.

Oh, I made a formspring friend. She asks me questions. Usually multiple ones in one question. Speaking of my formspring, I don't think I ever showed you. Ask me thinggsssssss. Please.

I read through a bunch of Cyanide & Happiness today. I laughed like, twice and then I got really bored. Then I found xkcd. Is it pathetic that I laughed at like, every single one of those comics? I think it means I'm nerdy. Nerds are sexy. Bethany says so anyway.

I need to go before I talk too much. Oh wait, I always talk too much. I like sugar. I'm bored. I want to eat dinner. I want to see a big city at night. I like them.

Okay, byebye now.

I'm So Forgetful

But you already knew that. Anyway, I forgot to tell you about my new friend! Her name is Anna. I met her on April 20th. I'm a member at an Animal Crossing site, which seems to surprise people and they keep asking me about it like it's some suspicious thing. xD I DO play Animal Crossing and I've been on that site for months now. haha
Anyway
I'm on that site, and I post alot (really intelligent posts that people ignore xD) but one girl noticed me and just messaged me asking to be friends. She had Skillet lyrics in her sig so I said sure. And then we started talking alot and she gave me her number so I texted her (we're on the same phone company so it's free). She and I have alot in common and we talk ALOT, so it's cool. Um, she's awesome and older than me and really pretty and she and I are both marrying Adam Lambert and she's moving into Bethany and Kat and my already thriving polygamist community in Utah. Oh yes. (there's a story there that I won't get into haha)
Anyway
So that's Anna. I'll probably talk about her alot. Hope she doesn't mind. Here's a funny fact, she asked me at some point if I had alot of friends on the Animal Crossing site, I said no, but that I had a few friends who I met elsewhere and texted and stuff that were on there, but we hadn't met there. She asked who so I gave her Ben and Elise's usernames and as it turns out she already knew Ben. I heard there was a slightly awkward conversation between them about me. And now she met Elise too the other day. Funny how small the internet can be, no? :P

I'll probably post another blog later, but anyway this is my introduction of Anna to my blog. REC, this is Anna. Anna this is REC. And now I shall start school.

So today I watched a cute movie and ate popcorn with mac and cheese powder on it.
I also found out we are out of strawberry milk.
I'm also working on knitting again. Mom says this year we can sell the scarves for college money.
Speaking of Mom she's going to be home tomorrow. She finally called and said so. I was happy.
Next week Katie-Ana's baby is due. I'm excited. She wants me and Mom there, so we'll be driving out there on Thursday morning. Not tomorrow but next Thursday.

I like today.

Do I Attract The Weird People Or Do They Just Find Me?

I know I'm insanely hot, but saying a demon is going to kill you unless we sleep together?
I'm sorry, I don't really care if he does kill you, I'm not going to sleep with someone that out of their senses, I'm sorry.

I swear, do they just find me or is it something I do to attract them? They're all insane...

Almost

Yesterday, I did what I decided sounded most fun. I took the trains to town, and went shopping. Well, not so much shopping, as just wandering around. I found the exact place I love best in the world. It's a lingerie store. Do not take that the way it sounds, because it's not the store that I love. It's the location. It's by a little lamppost all covered in ivy and the little building is short and small and every detail of it is intricately magical. I would love to be there all day and simply watch it. Though due to its risque nature, that would be too uncomfortable. So I simply walked past and on to other destinations.

I found myself last night out at the pier. I watched the sun go down behind the ferris wheel and it made me happy. The ripple of the water was calming as I watched the boats drift along. The night was nearly perfect, though there was just something missing and I couldn't place what..

And now today I am curled up on the sofa with a hot cup of tea and a blanket watching Mansfield Park. It's my favourite of the Austens, and I never grow tired of it. I'm perfectly happy right now. More than usual. Though, I still feel as if there's something missing. And I only wish I could say what..

It's Over

THREE DAYS LATER AND I CAN'T GET OVER... I LEFT HER, SHE HATES ME, AND WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE 1990!
Hawk Nelson. Listen to it.

anyway

Soooo, I finally told Ben something I hadn't even told you.
Oh the secrecy.
Things are cool, and god it feels good to have at least said it. haha
I'm not good with keeping things inside. As you undoubtedly had figured out by now.

So, from here.
Kat and I are going to try channeling emotions. It sounds painful. Literally.
Like, shock therapy minus the shock. But it also sounds fun. And if we happen to hypnotize ourselves into dates before our birth (haha I love that movie <3 [Somewhere In Time]) then we'll see you once we're retired.

But it really does feel better now. :P

Today Is So Much Better

My friends are amazing. I said on a status that I wasn't doing so well, and like...within 5 minutes everybody was all involved.
Bethany and Anna told me they loved me, Ben kept me distracted to cheer me up, Chris just let me rant about Wednesday's events to him, Katie-Ana said she'd give me a spoonful of her ice cream but she got to eat the rest, and Jesus even offered to read me Twilight if it would help, which is sayin alot. (from now on I'm just going to call him G, because I feel awkward saying "Jesus" and not referring to "Jesus Christ" because although He's my very best friend, I highly doubt he has a Facebook. :P)

Anyway, I'm feeling much better today. Mostly because I have the best friends and I know that I'll be alright as long as I have someone I can talk to.

I've noticed though, that sometimes...sometimes it shows who isn't the best friend. It shows the friends who will just tell you why you're wrong and not help you. And it's the friends like that who I don't want. Because all they do is make it worse. I'm not the kind of person who wants to lose friends, but now I know. That's not who I need to talk to anymore. If they just want to judge me, then I'm not going to give them anything to judge. I'll say hi if they do, but otherwise I'll let them live their own life and I'll solve my own problems with my own friends.

Yes that was directed at someone.

But no, today is much better. And to all my friends who helped me out - thanks. I love you guys alot. (: