I suppose that's what you're here for, right? Just to say these things to? I find it so hard though. To tell you everything anymore. Sometimes I think it scares me. To see them typed out. What I think, what I feel. It makes me feel like maybe there's something wrong with me. Something more than just being sad when it rains outside.
I'm not alright today.
I could lie and say I'm fine, but today I'm not fine. Not at all. Every time it's quiet I hear it like an echo.
I wish it were all over.
It's a terrible wish and a terrible thought, but it's true. I was so happy yesterday. And it's not like anything changed. I just woke up today with that feeling of not wanting to get out of bed. Not wanting to start the endless hours of doing nothing in particular. Not wanting to even keep breathing. I just woke up and felt like closing my eyes and making everything disappear.
Even the daydreams are just leaving me feeling empty. And maybe it is the weather. Maybe when it's warm out, I'll feel the sunshine and be content.
Or maybe there is something wrong with me.
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