Another Long Night

Another long night tonight.
It all started innocently. I showed Kira a picture of Ben, and it opened up conversation. She says he's hiding insecurities with all the crap he's been doing lately. I think she's right. But talking about him just made me miss him even more. I miss who he was, who he used to be.

I love him so much that it actually, hurts sometimes. And I wish he could see that. But he can't. So I spend all these nights, crying myself to sleep trying to make sense of it all. Tonight I'm at Taylor's and he asked me what was wrong and tried to help, but somehow even talking to him about it seemed so useless.

So now I'm sitting here crying my eyes out, still talking to Kira about it (she doesn't know I'm sad now though), cuddled up with Taylor while he's telling me all the things I tell my Friends. Everything will be okay. Everything will work out someday. It'll all make sense, and then you'll realize why it happened how it did.

I just have trouble believing those words myself.