Oh.Snap.

Well, Ben's in the US. So he's unreachable atm. BUT HE TALKED TO ME ON A STATUS. 8DD First time since the day I met him. I was like "omg, he replied <333" Even though all he said was "no effin idea. lol" Gosh, I miss him.

Um, but anyway this post isn't about Ben. (OMG, right?) It's about Matt. haha Yeah, I wrote him a story as a Christmas present, and I emailed it to him but he's not replying. Now, on Christmas Eve, he was going to go to a party with alcohol involved. I talked to him last the day before. But he said the last party like that he went to, he woke up in bed with a boy he hardly knew.

So.

I'm wondering why hasn't he talked to me since? No comment to say Merry Christmas, no messages saying he loves me, what gives? So I finished up that chapter today (late Dx) and sent it to him. He's been online since, I know he has. But he didn't respond. And now I'm freaking out. Either he found something out that I didn't want him to, or he slept with another random boy. The first would be terrible. The second I wouldn't honestly care about.

I mean, online relationships are hard for people who like sex, let's just be honest about it. I personally could die a virgin and be happy. But I know he couldn't, so for him, it's probably a hell of alot harder. So I don't care if he sleeps with random guys as long as he still loves me. But he could be feeling guilty about it and avoiding me. Or he could now love that guy and not me. Or maybe he's just really confused and avoiding me. Which still sucks for me.

Or maybe I'm just paranoid.

I just want an explanation as to why he doesn't even bother to ask how I'm doing. Or how my Christmas was. Or at least just remind me that he still loves me.

*sigh*